"I don't think I fit into their little boxes"... that's one of the lines in URO's hit "Føles godt".
I wonder if many of us can nod in recognition of that feeling in relation to having a dog? And could it be time to put some of these "boxes" away?
When I first got a dog, I clearly remember the feeling that I was often inundated with a lot of "musts" and "musts" from other dog owners. "You must not let your dog greet other dogs". Or: "You must always remember to let your dog socialize with everyone" - and a lot of other, probably well-meaning, but also completely opposite "absolutes".
Since then, I have often thought about how common it is to encounter such advice or even shaming from other dog owners. Especially on social media - but also in the local dog park. For example, some swear by raw food and believe that you are a bad dog owner if you feed dry food. Others have the exact opposite attitude. Some believe that the dog should not play with toys or be trained with treats. Others use teddy bears and treats in a gentle stream. Some run with their dog, others think it is a sin. Or - well, come up with more examples yourself.
And that is precisely what I call our "box thinking": We have found a reality that suits us and our dog well. And now we believe that this same "box" must suit everyone else. And we are not slow to tell them that. But why is it that we think that everyone else has the same needs as ourselves and our dog? Perhaps we should consider that other people and their dogs usually have a different starting point than ourselves. Could it be that they face different challenges and have a completely different reality and daily life than we do? And therefore have made different choices for their dog. And does that necessarily make them worse dog owners?
My belief is that there are many ways to be a good dog owner. I believe that the vast majority of people do the best they can, based on the conditions they have. And many of the "absolutes" that constitute our own truth are rarely based on science, but are based on what we ourselves believe is good for our dog. And the choices we have made for our dog. I feel quite convinced that both the dog that gets raw food and the dog that gets dry food can have good dog lives. If they have owners who give them attention and love, and otherwise treat their dogs with respect and care, then we will go far.
Our own firm principles may not be what fits into our neighbor's everyday life and choices as a dog owner. Or what his/her dog is best with. Let us instead meet each other with openness and curiosity about why they have chosen a different path than ourselves. Through conversation and exchange of experiences, we can become wiser and understand and respect each other's choices. And perhaps get new ideas and food for thought. I think we will get further with that rather than beating each other over the head with, "the only truth". Remember that there can be many paths to the same goal. Also when it comes to our beloved dogs. And if we meet each other with respect and dialogue, more people will also want to participate instead of feeling wrong or outside because they are one of the many who do not fit into "the right box".
What "boxes" have you encountered - and which ones might you need to "put in the attic" yourself?
Pictures of Tails by Ragno
About the blogger:
Karoline lives in Birkerød with her boyfriend and their two golden retrievers, Frida and Vilde. Karoline is a trained veterinarian and dog trainer and is co-founder of the dog running club Dirty Paws, where she is also a trainer/rope keeper at the local club in North Zealand. Frida and Line love running canicross together and have participated in many competitions at home and abroad, including the European Championships and World Championships. Their most important motto, however, is "Better together" - that the trips are about teamwork and understanding for each other. And that everyone can join in. In addition to canicross, they also participate in K9 biathlons (obstacle races with dogs) and do dog fitness. And hiking both in Denmark and around Europe is also a hit.
Frida is a super fast runner when it comes to it. And can hike for hours in the Alps. But she also just loves to be petted on the stomach and sleep for a long time. She can be stubborn as a donkey if there is something she doesn't like. On evening walks, for example, she is the one who decides the route. And she "talks" a lot by purring, including when she thinks she has earned an extra treat.
Vilde is from the spring of 2023 - and in many ways Frida's opposite. She is full of mischief and always happy and cheeky. She can howl like a wolf or jump like a kangaroo when she gets impatient - and otherwise she is a smart and brave girl who loves wild play and training. She will do pretty much anything for a treat.
Frida, Vilde and Karoline can be found on Instagram with the profile @teamgoldenpower
When will we stop thinking in terms of "box thinking" as dog owners?
"I don't think I fit into their little boxes"... that's one of the lines in URO's hit "Føles godt".
I wonder if many of us can nod in recognition of that feeling in relation to having a dog? And could it be time to put some of these "boxes" away?
When I first got a dog, I clearly remember the feeling that I was often inundated with a lot of "musts" and "musts" from other dog owners. "You must not let your dog greet other dogs". Or: "You must always remember to let your dog socialize with everyone" - and a lot of other, probably well-meaning, but also completely opposite "absolutes".
Since then, I have often thought about how common it is to encounter such advice or even shaming from other dog owners. Especially on social media - but also in the local dog park. For example, some swear by raw food and believe that you are a bad dog owner if you feed dry food. Others have the exact opposite attitude. Some believe that the dog should not play with toys or be trained with treats. Others use teddy bears and treats in a gentle stream. Some run with their dog, others think it is a sin. Or - well, come up with more examples yourself.
And that is precisely what I call our "box thinking": We have found a reality that suits us and our dog well. And now we believe that this same "box" must suit everyone else. And we are not slow to tell them that. But why is it that we think that everyone else has the same needs as ourselves and our dog? Perhaps we should consider that other people and their dogs usually have a different starting point than ourselves. Could it be that they face different challenges and have a completely different reality and daily life than we do? And therefore have made different choices for their dog. And does that necessarily make them worse dog owners?
My belief is that there are many ways to be a good dog owner. I believe that the vast majority of people do the best they can, based on the conditions they have. And many of the "absolutes" that constitute our own truth are rarely based on science, but are based on what we ourselves believe is good for our dog. And the choices we have made for our dog. I feel quite convinced that both the dog that gets raw food and the dog that gets dry food can have good dog lives. If they have owners who give them attention and love, and otherwise treat their dogs with respect and care, then we will go far.
Our own firm principles may not be what fits into our neighbor's everyday life and choices as a dog owner. Or what his/her dog is best with. Let us instead meet each other with openness and curiosity about why they have chosen a different path than ourselves. Through conversation and exchange of experiences, we can become wiser and understand and respect each other's choices. And perhaps get new ideas and food for thought. I think we will get further with that rather than beating each other over the head with, "the only truth". Remember that there can be many paths to the same goal. Also when it comes to our beloved dogs. And if we meet each other with respect and dialogue, more people will also want to participate instead of feeling wrong or outside because they are one of the many who do not fit into "the right box".
What "boxes" have you encountered - and which ones might you need to "put in the attic" yourself?
Pictures of Tails by Ragno
About the blogger:
Karoline lives in Birkerød with her boyfriend and their two golden retrievers, Frida and Vilde. Karoline is a trained veterinarian and dog trainer and is co-founder of the dog running club Dirty Paws, where she is also a trainer/rope keeper at the local club in North Zealand. Frida and Line love running canicross together and have participated in many competitions at home and abroad, including the European Championships and World Championships. Their most important motto, however, is "Better together" - that the trips are about teamwork and understanding for each other. And that everyone can join in. In addition to canicross, they also participate in K9 biathlons (obstacle races with dogs) and do dog fitness. And hiking both in Denmark and around Europe is also a hit.
Frida is a super fast runner when it comes to it. And can hike for hours in the Alps. But she also just loves to be petted on the stomach and sleep for a long time. She can be stubborn as a donkey if there is something she doesn't like. On evening walks, for example, she is the one who decides the route. And she "talks" a lot by purring, including when she thinks she has earned an extra treat.
Vilde is from the spring of 2023 - and in many ways Frida's opposite. She is full of mischief and always happy and cheeky. She can howl like a wolf or jump like a kangaroo when she gets impatient - and otherwise she is a smart and brave girl who loves wild play and training. She will do pretty much anything for a treat.
Frida, Vilde and Karoline can be found on Instagram with the profile @teamgoldenpower