When one baby becomes two
Written by: Maria Rasbøl Bomholt
Puppy and baby in the same home – brilliant or disastrous?
Children and dogs can be a great match, and it's not for nothing that dogs are called "man's best friend." But having a puppy in the home requires a lot of work, time and energy. And what about when the family expands? How do we best help our puppies or young dogs through a family addition?
My young dog Balder has spent the last 10 months getting used to a new baby in the family. Balder has met children since he was a puppy, but it was the first time he had to get used to a baby when Villads was born 10 months ago, and Balder was a small young dog of 8 months at that time.
First meeting between dog and baby
One of the first things I did when the new baby in the family was born was to give my dog a blanket that the baby, Villads, had been lying in. That way, my dog, Balder, could get used to Villads' scent before the two of them met for the first time. Then came the day when the two were to be introduced. First of all, we went into the house and made sure to say hello to Balder first. Then we put Villads' car seat down on the floor so Balder could go over and sniff him himself. Balder was praised for being calm around the little one, and he did so well.
Since Villads is a little older and can now crawl, there is of course more supervision of him and Balder. I am very careful to still give Balder a lot of love and cuddles, even though Villads is there, so that he does not feel cheated. It is important not to push the dog aside every time we sit with the new family member, as the dog will then associate the baby with something negative.
I also pay close attention to Balder's signals. When Balder walks away and retreats, I make sure that Villads doesn't keep crawling after him and looking for him. I also avoid Villads crawling towards Balder while he is eating or if he has a chew bone.
Socializing with children
A good idea from the start is to get your puppy used to being around children. From the time Balder was very small, I have always had him with me when we have visited family or friends with children. I have also sound trained him from the start by putting on a sound training CD, where sounds such as babies crying, children playing and other loud noises are played, so that the puppy gradually gets used to it.
It is important to teach the puppy not to jump up on us and not to nibble on us. It may be very cute for the puppy to jump up on us when it is small, but it is a different matter when the puppy quickly grows larger, especially if it is a large breed. The puppy, or now the young dog, has experienced success in jumping up when it was small, so it will continue with this behavior if we do not train it away from the start. When Balder was a very small puppy, he learned very quickly that he should not bite us, but that he should bite his toy instead. Every time he nibbled on us, I offered him something he could bite on, in this case his toy, so he learned an alternative behavior to biting. It worked really well, and he learned in a very short time what he could bite on and what he could not bite on.
Dog toys and baby toys
One of the things that has been a bit of a challenge for us here at home was that Balder had to learn what were his toys and what were baby's toys. At first it was difficult, as Balder of course thought that all the toys that were laid out on the floor were for him. I didn't scold him for taking Villads' toys, but instead offered him some of his own toys and praised him for playing with his own. It has worked well at home, because after a while Balder understood that he wasn't allowed to take the toys that Villads was playing with.
It is a really good idea to teach the dog what it can and cannot play with. Just as the dog is not allowed to play with the shoes in the house, it can also be taught not to play with the children's toys. It is a bad habit for the dog to 'steal' toys from the child, as this can give the dog a sense of ownership over the toy. In some cases, the dog will then show resource defense, and for example growl to defend its toy (or chew bone). We want to avoid that.
Damping signals
We also need to pay attention to the dog's signals. Often, parents only discover that their dog is insecure around children when the dog has growled or bitten. But there are actually quite a few signals that the dog gives long before it chooses the last resort – namely biting. We call these signs of insecurity calming signals.
It may start with the dog yawning or licking its mouth, after which the dog may even try to get away by walking away, for example to its basket. If the child continues to not respect the signals that the dog is showing, it will quickly escalate into growling or marking towards the child. This is very undesirable, as our children should not be bitten. If the dog repeatedly experiences that its calming signals are ignored, it will not be that far from the first ignored signal to a bite in the future.
Some of the calming signals to look for are when the dog:
- Gapes
- Looking away
- Licking or smacking the mouth
- Has his tail between his legs
- Standing rigidly still
- Has laid back ears
- Searching away
When the dog starts to show these calming signals, it needs to be left alone. This way the dog learns that its boundaries are respected and that it therefore does not need to growl or bite to get calm. The dog should preferably have a 'free space' such as its basket, where it can always be in peace.
Avoid these situations
Many of the unfortunate situations that arise between children and dogs can be avoided by teaching children not to approach the dog when it:
Eats or has a chewing bone
Lying in his basket (the dog's territory)
Sleeping/resting
Has a toy in his mouth
Create positive associations
A good idea for the dog to enjoy the child and vice versa is to create a lot of positive associations between each other. For example, the child can give the dog some treats so that the dog experiences something positive about the child's presence.
However, it is important that small children and dogs are supervised so that parents can intervene if something inappropriate occurs. This will ensure that it remains a good experience for all parties, and that the child and dog can create a healthy and safe relationship.
New baby in the home with puppy
When one baby becomes two
Written by: Maria Rasbøl Bomholt
Puppy and baby in the same home – brilliant or disastrous?
Children and dogs can be a great match, and it's not for nothing that dogs are called "man's best friend." But having a puppy in the home requires a lot of work, time and energy. And what about when the family expands? How do we best help our puppies or young dogs through a family addition?
My young dog Balder has spent the last 10 months getting used to a new baby in the family. Balder has met children since he was a puppy, but it was the first time he had to get used to a baby when Villads was born 10 months ago, and Balder was a small young dog of 8 months at that time.
First meeting between dog and baby
One of the first things I did when the new baby in the family was born was to give my dog a blanket that the baby, Villads, had been lying in. That way, my dog, Balder, could get used to Villads' scent before the two of them met for the first time. Then came the day when the two were to be introduced. First of all, we went into the house and made sure to say hello to Balder first. Then we put Villads' car seat down on the floor so Balder could go over and sniff him himself. Balder was praised for being calm around the little one, and he did so well.
Since Villads is a little older and can now crawl, there is of course more supervision of him and Balder. I am very careful to still give Balder a lot of love and cuddles, even though Villads is there, so that he does not feel cheated. It is important not to push the dog aside every time we sit with the new family member, as the dog will then associate the baby with something negative.
I also pay close attention to Balder's signals. When Balder walks away and retreats, I make sure that Villads doesn't keep crawling after him and looking for him. I also avoid Villads crawling towards Balder while he is eating or if he has a chew bone.
Socializing with children
A good idea from the start is to get your puppy used to being around children. From the time Balder was very small, I have always had him with me when we have visited family or friends with children. I have also sound trained him from the start by putting on a sound training CD, where sounds such as babies crying, children playing and other loud noises are played, so that the puppy gradually gets used to it.
It is important to teach the puppy not to jump up on us and not to nibble on us. It may be very cute for the puppy to jump up on us when it is small, but it is a different matter when the puppy quickly grows larger, especially if it is a large breed. The puppy, or now the young dog, has experienced success in jumping up when it was small, so it will continue with this behavior if we do not train it away from the start. When Balder was a very small puppy, he learned very quickly that he should not bite us, but that he should bite his toy instead. Every time he nibbled on us, I offered him something he could bite on, in this case his toy, so he learned an alternative behavior to biting. It worked really well, and he learned in a very short time what he could bite on and what he could not bite on.
Dog toys and baby toys
One of the things that has been a bit of a challenge for us here at home was that Balder had to learn what were his toys and what were baby's toys. At first it was difficult, as Balder of course thought that all the toys that were laid out on the floor were for him. I didn't scold him for taking Villads' toys, but instead offered him some of his own toys and praised him for playing with his own. It has worked well at home, because after a while Balder understood that he wasn't allowed to take the toys that Villads was playing with.
It is a really good idea to teach the dog what it can and cannot play with. Just as the dog is not allowed to play with the shoes in the house, it can also be taught not to play with the children's toys. It is a bad habit for the dog to 'steal' toys from the child, as this can give the dog a sense of ownership over the toy. In some cases, the dog will then show resource defense, and for example growl to defend its toy (or chew bone). We want to avoid that.
Damping signals
We also need to pay attention to the dog's signals. Often, parents only discover that their dog is insecure around children when the dog has growled or bitten. But there are actually quite a few signals that the dog gives long before it chooses the last resort – namely biting. We call these signs of insecurity calming signals.
It may start with the dog yawning or licking its mouth, after which the dog may even try to get away by walking away, for example to its basket. If the child continues to not respect the signals that the dog is showing, it will quickly escalate into growling or marking towards the child. This is very undesirable, as our children should not be bitten. If the dog repeatedly experiences that its calming signals are ignored, it will not be that far from the first ignored signal to a bite in the future.
Some of the calming signals to look for are when the dog:
When the dog starts to show these calming signals, it needs to be left alone. This way the dog learns that its boundaries are respected and that it therefore does not need to growl or bite to get calm. The dog should preferably have a 'free space' such as its basket, where it can always be in peace.
Avoid these situations
Many of the unfortunate situations that arise between children and dogs can be avoided by teaching children not to approach the dog when it:
Eats or has a chewing bone
Lying in his basket (the dog's territory)
Sleeping/resting
Has a toy in his mouth
Create positive associations
A good idea for the dog to enjoy the child and vice versa is to create a lot of positive associations between each other. For example, the child can give the dog some treats so that the dog experiences something positive about the child's presence.
However, it is important that small children and dogs are supervised so that parents can intervene if something inappropriate occurs. This will ensure that it remains a good experience for all parties, and that the child and dog can create a healthy and safe relationship.